Friday, November 02, 2007
Raising an ABCD
So, Halloween's gone. What next? Thanksgiving? No wait, there's Deepavali next week. Indeed, biculturalism is a reality now. And it would be perfectly o.k too if it was limited to the observance of festivals and holidays. But being an Indian parent raising a child born in America and attempting to create that perfect amalgam of cultures is an entirely different ball game. Till recently, the acronym ABCD meant only a reference to some remote acquaintance but not anymore. Li'l A is an ABCD too! Now I look past the humor behind the acronym and wonder if there is really a disparaging side to it and if yes what it really means for us and for him? He belongs to the coconut generation and he is supposedly "White" on the inside and "Brown" on the outside and that means he has to live up to our expectations that are almost entirely Indian and at the same time try to make peace with his own perceptions that will be entirely American. So, is he going to grow up in a befuddled little world of his own? And are the problems only going to get harder as the years roll by? Will he have to deal with crises in terms of identity, lifestyle, language, accent, etiquette,values and beliefs? Will he belong neither "here" nor "there"? And one day will he face a more difficult and serious question like "Who am I"? I think the answer to all of these questions and more is "Yes". And so, the confusion is inevitable and adding considerably to this confusion is us, the parents- we are novice parents dealing with parenting issues on one hand and immigrant uncertainties on the other hand.
It is true that I am a young mom and probably foster more liberal upbringing thoughts compared to other Indian parents. To me the American culture is an experience I have mostly enjoyed. I am still learning and will only continue to do so through the experiences of Li'l A. I am also more accepting of the ways of my adopted country but at the core I am an Indian with very Indian values and there is no denying that my parenting style is largely influenced by these values. I already find myself imposing a certain amount of Indian-ness when I parent my child. It is understated but there nonetheless. The expectations are mostly Indian in matters such as academics, religion, and spirituality and I do my best to bring the Indian experience to Li'l A. And then there is also the deluge of cultural products such as music and films but I wonder if any of this is going to make Li'l A a little more Indian or only add to the ambivalence. Surely, there is more to being the "Authentic Indian" than wearing Indian clothes, eating Indian food, watching Indian movies and dancing to Indian tunes? And no, I am not trying to make him one because I realize he is not one, I am just trying to ask a few questions to understand what's in store for us. I don't even want to begin to wonder how much harder adolescence will be because he belongs to a second generation and has a unique ethnic identity. He is different and he is going to feel it. But then again, I take comfort in the fact that he is not alone and that there is a whole generation with him!
Despite all the confusion that a dual identity brings, I want him to grow up to a be a sure-footed young man who will not be limited by definitions. He is not the norm and will not fit into traditional cultural paradigms. The sooner he realizes that, the easier it will be for him to move on or at least I hope so. The confusion has already begun and it is apparent even to him and for now he is handling the rife mispronunciations of his name rather well. Every time he defiantly corrects people and tells them the correct way to say his name, I know that he owns his name even though it is different and if he can continue to extend the same philosophy to everything else that is unique or distinct about him then he is going to be alright.
So, can you point to anymore issues that we may potentially face as the parents of second generation children and is there anything we can do to make life a little easier for them? Go on, have your say.
It is true that I am a young mom and probably foster more liberal upbringing thoughts compared to other Indian parents. To me the American culture is an experience I have mostly enjoyed. I am still learning and will only continue to do so through the experiences of Li'l A. I am also more accepting of the ways of my adopted country but at the core I am an Indian with very Indian values and there is no denying that my parenting style is largely influenced by these values. I already find myself imposing a certain amount of Indian-ness when I parent my child. It is understated but there nonetheless. The expectations are mostly Indian in matters such as academics, religion, and spirituality and I do my best to bring the Indian experience to Li'l A. And then there is also the deluge of cultural products such as music and films but I wonder if any of this is going to make Li'l A a little more Indian or only add to the ambivalence. Surely, there is more to being the "Authentic Indian" than wearing Indian clothes, eating Indian food, watching Indian movies and dancing to Indian tunes? And no, I am not trying to make him one because I realize he is not one, I am just trying to ask a few questions to understand what's in store for us. I don't even want to begin to wonder how much harder adolescence will be because he belongs to a second generation and has a unique ethnic identity. He is different and he is going to feel it. But then again, I take comfort in the fact that he is not alone and that there is a whole generation with him!
Despite all the confusion that a dual identity brings, I want him to grow up to a be a sure-footed young man who will not be limited by definitions. He is not the norm and will not fit into traditional cultural paradigms. The sooner he realizes that, the easier it will be for him to move on or at least I hope so. The confusion has already begun and it is apparent even to him and for now he is handling the rife mispronunciations of his name rather well. Every time he defiantly corrects people and tells them the correct way to say his name, I know that he owns his name even though it is different and if he can continue to extend the same philosophy to everything else that is unique or distinct about him then he is going to be alright.
So, can you point to anymore issues that we may potentially face as the parents of second generation children and is there anything we can do to make life a little easier for them? Go on, have your say.
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First, let me say that I really admire you for your open mindedness. I really enjoy the way you celebrate christmas/halloween so that little A doesn't feel left out around the American kids who are his friends.
Having said that, I don't know whether I can be like you. My kid is going to be born here and will grow up in seemingly a matter of days (:-D) and I don't know whether I'll be able to do what you do. I mean, I like the celebrations here, I love the decorations, the costume and all the jazz. But to personally celebrate, I'm not so sure.
One of the reasons I want to be back in India soon is so that my kid(s) can feel the Indian culture around them. But indirectly somehow my not being open-minded about accepting American culture may have lots to do with it. My problem is I don't know if I can change. I already am confused, wonder what my kid will be, ABVVCD? (VV standing for "very very" :-D).
Having said that, I don't know whether I can be like you. My kid is going to be born here and will grow up in seemingly a matter of days (:-D) and I don't know whether I'll be able to do what you do. I mean, I like the celebrations here, I love the decorations, the costume and all the jazz. But to personally celebrate, I'm not so sure.
One of the reasons I want to be back in India soon is so that my kid(s) can feel the Indian culture around them. But indirectly somehow my not being open-minded about accepting American culture may have lots to do with it. My problem is I don't know if I can change. I already am confused, wonder what my kid will be, ABVVCD? (VV standing for "very very" :-D).
Oh, tell me about ABD Orchid (No C there bcos my kids are not confused at all!)!!!
I have two morons of my own at home!! They are truly Coconuts as you say but not confused!;D
Looking at those "westernized" B4U movie item no. dancers, my son asks "Do Indian girls dress like that?"!:D It paints a terrible picture for kids of what India is!
They know where their parents come from and about our history and about the typical Indian stories we all tell our kids but they don't think or feel like Indians who are born and raised in India like you and me. They question the "morality" of Indian stories and the violence in most stories like why some kings kill and make their own brothers and wives suffer!! They don't even like most Indian food on contrary to what you see in my blog! We parents eat them with delight of course!:D
My advice to you is to let your son know all there is about our way of life and stories about India and the basic Hindu or Indian philosophy of life, but let him choose his way of life. This is his country and culture and India was our home and culture. Kids only get confused when we force our culture down their throats when they are living in whole different culture which is theirs!!
Tell him about how we grow up and how we were expected to behave. Indian parents who live in US tend to glamorize India, paint a wonderful picture until the kids get a shock of their life when they visit India themselves! Do you blame them?
Indian values, yes teach them by all means. But let him be a proud American!!
I have two morons of my own at home!! They are truly Coconuts as you say but not confused!;D
Looking at those "westernized" B4U movie item no. dancers, my son asks "Do Indian girls dress like that?"!:D It paints a terrible picture for kids of what India is!
They know where their parents come from and about our history and about the typical Indian stories we all tell our kids but they don't think or feel like Indians who are born and raised in India like you and me. They question the "morality" of Indian stories and the violence in most stories like why some kings kill and make their own brothers and wives suffer!! They don't even like most Indian food on contrary to what you see in my blog! We parents eat them with delight of course!:D
My advice to you is to let your son know all there is about our way of life and stories about India and the basic Hindu or Indian philosophy of life, but let him choose his way of life. This is his country and culture and India was our home and culture. Kids only get confused when we force our culture down their throats when they are living in whole different culture which is theirs!!
Tell him about how we grow up and how we were expected to behave. Indian parents who live in US tend to glamorize India, paint a wonderful picture until the kids get a shock of their life when they visit India themselves! Do you blame them?
Indian values, yes teach them by all means. But let him be a proud American!!
What a brilliant post! I love reading things like this that give me an insight into life, quite outside my personal experience.
This was indeed a brilliant post. I think it will always be hard to expect our children to be completely Indian, especially living here. I think change is inevitable.
As for my child, she is a ABCDEFGHIJKL......she's all confused. I'm confused. Shall I explain?
I'm an Indian woman born and raised in the West Indies. I married an American. My child has so many labels on her shoulders, that she can barely stand up! :) Anyway, she's a good kid and that's all that matters.
As for my child, she is a ABCDEFGHIJKL......she's all confused. I'm confused. Shall I explain?
I'm an Indian woman born and raised in the West Indies. I married an American. My child has so many labels on her shoulders, that she can barely stand up! :) Anyway, she's a good kid and that's all that matters.
I have two kids born and raised here and are in college.I think they have grown up pretty well rounded. I did not deny them Indian or american culture but rather fused both. I took the best of both worlds and incoporated that in their lives.I celebrated American holidays and Indian holidays, my kids dressed Indian and american.most of all I think as long as you teach them to be good human beings no matter where they are ,you have done a good job.
Well timed and well written. Very nice post Orchid. I don't face as much dilemna with Chip - He is an American first, an Indian second. We celebrate Indian festivals and H'ween, t'giing,Christmas and Easter with equal enthusiasm. I have to say I don't understand parents who want to immerse their kids in Indian culture, without immersing themselves in American culture. These parents want their kids to eat India food but will not have a traditional thanksgiving dinner. This irks me. I echo Asha - her comment was full of wisdom.
dotmom,
Thanks! Agreed these kids are American first and that we (some of us at least) celebrate everything with equal enthusiasm and I don't thing I am too worried about Li'l A learning about India and Indian culture they way we did...he can never see it in the same light as we did but from his own perspective I wonder how much of a struggle he has ahead of him -will he ever feel that there is something lacking or will he get the best of both worlds? Like you point out, it's entirely up to us parents :)...time to plan a lavish thanksgiving speread, eh??:)
Thanks! Agreed these kids are American first and that we (some of us at least) celebrate everything with equal enthusiasm and I don't thing I am too worried about Li'l A learning about India and Indian culture they way we did...he can never see it in the same light as we did but from his own perspective I wonder how much of a struggle he has ahead of him -will he ever feel that there is something lacking or will he get the best of both worlds? Like you point out, it's entirely up to us parents :)...time to plan a lavish thanksgiving speread, eh??:)
starry,
there is much to be gained from you experience and wisdom and i see total sense in what you say, thanks for reading :)
Beenzz,
Thank you! Again, much to be learned form your experience and yes a good kid is the outcome I will strive for too and hopefully there' won't be too many challenges along the way
there is much to be gained from you experience and wisdom and i see total sense in what you say, thanks for reading :)
Beenzz,
Thank you! Again, much to be learned form your experience and yes a good kid is the outcome I will strive for too and hopefully there' won't be too many challenges along the way
THM,
Thank you.....we knew what we were getting into when we decided to immigrate..adapting to the American way has been easy for us but I don't know if bringing the Indian experience in it's entirety to our child will ever be!
Asha,
Vow! and thank you...I know as a novice parent I can always look up to people like you for advice and wisdom. Yes, I agree with you when we say that we are Indian by roots and he is American and as long as we remember this I thi nk we are going to be o.k.
Thank you.....we knew what we were getting into when we decided to immigrate..adapting to the American way has been easy for us but I don't know if bringing the Indian experience in it's entirety to our child will ever be!
Asha,
Vow! and thank you...I know as a novice parent I can always look up to people like you for advice and wisdom. Yes, I agree with you when we say that we are Indian by roots and he is American and as long as we remember this I thi nk we are going to be o.k.
Deepthi,
your take on this issue is very different from everyone else and i admire your honesty. Moving back to India for the sake of your kids is something I want to discuss in another topic. But if you do end up staying back then I think for the sake of your child you will become more accepting of the American way (not just celebrations). I think like everyone else has said the only way to handle this is to acknowledge that your child is more American than Indian and help them be that way.
your take on this issue is very different from everyone else and i admire your honesty. Moving back to India for the sake of your kids is something I want to discuss in another topic. But if you do end up staying back then I think for the sake of your child you will become more accepting of the American way (not just celebrations). I think like everyone else has said the only way to handle this is to acknowledge that your child is more American than Indian and help them be that way.
whoa, this is a loaded topic and I can never say all I want to say in a comment. in short, I don't have all the answers now...it is one of those things that will come to me, I'm sure, as I grow as a parent. second, the way I see it, my end goal is not to raise an "indian" or "american" - I think the world is too small these days to put a nationatlity badge that way...raising a kid as a globally wise citizen is my intent.
and i agree with Asha in that, the C part of ABCD will become irrelevant when our kids grow up. if you know who you are, why be confused?
but most of all, my biggest challenge is the culture from the country he lives in will infuse in without effort. Say, we continue to live in US, I don't have to try to teach him "American culture" - whatever that is. he will learn on his own. But his Indian background - because he needs to know his roots - I do have to make an effort. I can only hope I find the right balance between ingraining culture and stuffing it down his throat.
and i agree with Asha in that, the C part of ABCD will become irrelevant when our kids grow up. if you know who you are, why be confused?
but most of all, my biggest challenge is the culture from the country he lives in will infuse in without effort. Say, we continue to live in US, I don't have to try to teach him "American culture" - whatever that is. he will learn on his own. But his Indian background - because he needs to know his roots - I do have to make an effort. I can only hope I find the right balance between ingraining culture and stuffing it down his throat.
Very nice post... Made me think, putting myself and my future kids in the "what-if" Scenario!
I guess what Asha says makes a lot of sense, but I would want my kids to be more Indian than American! :D (I think...)
My parents came back from there for the exact same reasons - that we grow up amongst our culture, surroundings... But, the time we spent there, my 2 yrs of schooling, has influenced me... and I usually stood out with my thoughts and confusions from the kids of my age when I was back in school here in India...
I guess what Asha says makes a lot of sense, but I would want my kids to be more Indian than American! :D (I think...)
My parents came back from there for the exact same reasons - that we grow up amongst our culture, surroundings... But, the time we spent there, my 2 yrs of schooling, has influenced me... and I usually stood out with my thoughts and confusions from the kids of my age when I was back in school here in India...
Awesome post, and the comments are even better! Although I am on the other side of the fence, it is fascinating to see what leasons we learn from this, because eventually parenting children in today's global world with rampant media exposure is a struggle.
How you deal with all that and raise kids to be happy, secure and confident is a challenge all of us would know about. The American identity and all that it stands for did not appeal to me, hence I chose to go back to India.
But the American influence is not far away here either, I had kids in my apartment community celebrate Halloween, go trick or treating, simply because they were doing it until a few years ago!
Like someone wisely pointed out, the confusion is really in the parent's mind !
How you deal with all that and raise kids to be happy, secure and confident is a challenge all of us would know about. The American identity and all that it stands for did not appeal to me, hence I chose to go back to India.
But the American influence is not far away here either, I had kids in my apartment community celebrate Halloween, go trick or treating, simply because they were doing it until a few years ago!
Like someone wisely pointed out, the confusion is really in the parent's mind !
Kodi's mom,
I too thought I had some time before I really started asking these questions but now Li'l A is the one asking questions or expressing opinions and that's why the post :) Yes, you don't have to worry about the American aspect of the hyphenated tag (Indian-American)...it is the Indian part that leaves me wondering- how much??
Pixie,
Welcome here! Thanks, of course if you have a child here these questions become important sooner or later. SO, your parents moved back to raise you in India ?? That will probably be my next post. I guess the end goal is to raise healthy, happy kids without paying too much attention to the definitions.
I too thought I had some time before I really started asking these questions but now Li'l A is the one asking questions or expressing opinions and that's why the post :) Yes, you don't have to worry about the American aspect of the hyphenated tag (Indian-American)...it is the Indian part that leaves me wondering- how much??
Pixie,
Welcome here! Thanks, of course if you have a child here these questions become important sooner or later. SO, your parents moved back to raise you in India ?? That will probably be my next post. I guess the end goal is to raise healthy, happy kids without paying too much attention to the definitions.
Poppins,
Thank you and agree. When I read the first part of your comment I was going to say..isn't the opulence of the West all too pervasive in India today, I mean how different is raising kids in India really and then you said it yourself...but this will be a post in itself, moving back to India or staying behind, maybe I will link your post when I write on that:)
Thank you and agree. When I read the first part of your comment I was going to say..isn't the opulence of the West all too pervasive in India today, I mean how different is raising kids in India really and then you said it yourself...but this will be a post in itself, moving back to India or staying behind, maybe I will link your post when I write on that:)
SM wrote: Orchid, this is such a beautiful post. I am sure it will resonate with all the young moms raising ABCD-American-born CONFIDENT desi's. Since I am not in your particular situation < i have nothing to add except that with your clarity and values, I have no doubt that lil A will have a strong and stable identity, and will learn to appreciate the best of both worlds.
-SM (yeah yeah, I am working towards re-blogging!)
-SM (yeah yeah, I am working towards re-blogging!)
Dear dear SM,
I hope you realize me and the rest of the blogging world dearly misses you and reading about Ananya, so get that lazy behind of urs into action.
Now for the comment, thanks but believe me it is not easy..not at all ..it's going to be one interesting ride is all I can say!
I hope you realize me and the rest of the blogging world dearly misses you and reading about Ananya, so get that lazy behind of urs into action.
Now for the comment, thanks but believe me it is not easy..not at all ..it's going to be one interesting ride is all I can say!
Orchie,
A thought provoking post, to say the least. I broode on it at times, but never actually sat down and analyzed it, thinking my lil one is too young and that I have time.
And time, I see, is flying swift.
Now that you have raised it, and having read the comments here, I realize that my goal (like Kodis Mom aptly said) is to raise a globally wise citizen (I like that, KM!).
I can celebrate both Indian and American festivals. And I do. I can tell him stories of how we were raised (without polishing it) and I can read the epics to him. I can visit Indian with him.
But, what is that I donot want him to learn from the US?
Is it -- the way you treat elders, pre-marital sex (ok, score that off), humility,....(here I am thinking out loud). Is my biggest fear, whom he will bringing home as his wife?
What is that I dont want him to absorb from his US upbriniging?
And will it be different had he been raised in India?
My parents had an entirly different upbrining. Yes they lived in India and I spent my childhood and youth in India too. But our thoughts and views are different.
My mom and grandmom made bucketloads of sweets for Diwali. Would I have done it if I was in India now? Aren't my Indian peers buying homestlye sweets and passing around?
All I want for my lil one is to have a good heart. A strong one when it needs to be and a gentle one at other times. To know right from wrong, to acknowledge elders and listen, but filter out and make wise decisions. To be a good human being.
Everything else takes a back seat. If there is one culture that will boost him for all the above, that is what I will try to adopt. And is it the Indian way? Why?
===
Okay I got carried away. (you asked for this, Orchie. Dont blame me now) Pheww!
A thought provoking post, to say the least. I broode on it at times, but never actually sat down and analyzed it, thinking my lil one is too young and that I have time.
And time, I see, is flying swift.
Now that you have raised it, and having read the comments here, I realize that my goal (like Kodis Mom aptly said) is to raise a globally wise citizen (I like that, KM!).
I can celebrate both Indian and American festivals. And I do. I can tell him stories of how we were raised (without polishing it) and I can read the epics to him. I can visit Indian with him.
But, what is that I donot want him to learn from the US?
Is it -- the way you treat elders, pre-marital sex (ok, score that off), humility,....(here I am thinking out loud). Is my biggest fear, whom he will bringing home as his wife?
What is that I dont want him to absorb from his US upbriniging?
And will it be different had he been raised in India?
My parents had an entirly different upbrining. Yes they lived in India and I spent my childhood and youth in India too. But our thoughts and views are different.
My mom and grandmom made bucketloads of sweets for Diwali. Would I have done it if I was in India now? Aren't my Indian peers buying homestlye sweets and passing around?
All I want for my lil one is to have a good heart. A strong one when it needs to be and a gentle one at other times. To know right from wrong, to acknowledge elders and listen, but filter out and make wise decisions. To be a good human being.
Everything else takes a back seat. If there is one culture that will boost him for all the above, that is what I will try to adopt. And is it the Indian way? Why?
===
Okay I got carried away. (you asked for this, Orchie. Dont blame me now) Pheww!
Upsi,
Thanks for the well thought out comment..appreciate it much!
I guess again we are all drifting to idea of raising kids here vs. raising kids in India..which gives me enough fodder for another post. But if we end up raising them here then the question of a dual ethnic identity will come up whether we like it or not but I think all of us have similar end goals in mind..how far we will succeed depends on our (parent's) flexibility, tolerance and patience!
Thanks for the well thought out comment..appreciate it much!
I guess again we are all drifting to idea of raising kids here vs. raising kids in India..which gives me enough fodder for another post. But if we end up raising them here then the question of a dual ethnic identity will come up whether we like it or not but I think all of us have similar end goals in mind..how far we will succeed depends on our (parent's) flexibility, tolerance and patience!
Like SM says, I am on the other side of the coin and don't have much to say but given your clarity of thought, I think you will do a great job with lil A :)
I really judge people who live here in the US and then use all of the resources in this country but will not allow theur children to grown up as Americans. I am not saying, don't teach them their roots or not to fail to teach them the best of both cultures, but just don't raise them as Indians here in such way that they develop the feeling of not belonging anywhere. A lot of parents feel that they have to go back to India to protect their children from drugs, sex and such that is in schools. Are they saying that India is immune to drugs, sex and bullying? Please give me a break here. My hubby feels that education here is not up to standard...WTH? ARe there no educated people here? ALso he says, it is better in India....let me ask this...does lugging around bags that weigh a ton, randomly memorizing stuff without any practical knowledge of it is the better option?
Enuf here,..maybe I'll do a post instead of hogging your comment section.
Enuf here,..maybe I'll do a post instead of hogging your comment section.
Hey Orchid, first time here. Interesting blog. Will dive into your archives and read more..
As for this post - I think the differences in raising kids in India and outside have certainly decreased. How our kids will turn out has a lot has to do with our own attitudes. Beyond that there is that factor called luck - despite all our efforts our kids may end up either confused/fractured or infused with what we think are the right things - irrespective of our geographical location.
As for this post - I think the differences in raising kids in India and outside have certainly decreased. How our kids will turn out has a lot has to do with our own attitudes. Beyond that there is that factor called luck - despite all our efforts our kids may end up either confused/fractured or infused with what we think are the right things - irrespective of our geographical location.
Wow, that is such a wonderful post. For me, it answered quite a few questions, and also served as a take-off point for some more reflections.
So glad to have begun reading your blog. It's so very worth it. :)
I responded to both your post and Poppins Mom in my own blog, here.
So glad to have begun reading your blog. It's so very worth it. :)
I responded to both your post and Poppins Mom in my own blog, here.
Extremely thought provoking post!! There are so many things I could say ... but let me make it short.
I think we as parents should be more clear in our minds ... I attribute the C of ABCD more to the parents than the kids. I also think that the Indian kids will gradually learn that they are "different" from the other Americans. Cantaloupe has already noticed that her skin color is different from that of some of her friends in pre-school ... she also notices that her eating habits are different ... there are many more such examples. But the fact that she is comfortable in her grove gives me confidence and hope that as she grows, she will understand things better. I do think that it helps if we as parents are more open minded and NOT very rigid about things.
Of course, I can see this issue crop up in India these days as well ... so I am not completely convinced that moving back is the solution.
I think we as parents should be more clear in our minds ... I attribute the C of ABCD more to the parents than the kids. I also think that the Indian kids will gradually learn that they are "different" from the other Americans. Cantaloupe has already noticed that her skin color is different from that of some of her friends in pre-school ... she also notices that her eating habits are different ... there are many more such examples. But the fact that she is comfortable in her grove gives me confidence and hope that as she grows, she will understand things better. I do think that it helps if we as parents are more open minded and NOT very rigid about things.
Of course, I can see this issue crop up in India these days as well ... so I am not completely convinced that moving back is the solution.
dotmom wrote "I don't understand parents who want to immerse their kids in Indian culture, without immersing themselves in American culture."
The parents have half a lifetime worth of Indian culture to contend with. Would it be right to expect teenage kids born and brought up in the US to blend completely into the Indian set up when parents decide to move back?
Basically what most of the people here and over at PM and DM seem to be saying is that stay in India with your indianness and if u do venture abroad, then live like an American while still retaining the indianness. Why? Do all americans celebrate TG/easter/christmas etc? Likewise do all Indians celebrate Ganesh chaturthi/Dassara/Eid/Christmas/halloween? One does what one feels comfortable with.Not celebrating TG doesn't make you one a traitor to the American society. Similarly dissing Halloween or complaining about the flaws one finds in the american living, while staying in the US, is not morally wrong. When you stay in India, do u not criticize the traffic, the pollution? If not always, maybe in moments of frustration?
I have lived in India as well as in the US. When I lived in India, I celebrated some of the festivals. In the US too I went over to friends for christmas, and enjoyed the 4th of July fireworks. But I didn't do the TG or halloween or easter. If I did manage to find enthusiam for all the celebrations, I would be living an artificial life.One that I didn't live in India, my home country.If I take up the residency in US, does that take away my Indian ancestory?
If I did venture to be indian as well as American, I would be celebrating almost every other week!!! :)
Sorry, long comment, and maybe a little rambling.
Deepa
The parents have half a lifetime worth of Indian culture to contend with. Would it be right to expect teenage kids born and brought up in the US to blend completely into the Indian set up when parents decide to move back?
Basically what most of the people here and over at PM and DM seem to be saying is that stay in India with your indianness and if u do venture abroad, then live like an American while still retaining the indianness. Why? Do all americans celebrate TG/easter/christmas etc? Likewise do all Indians celebrate Ganesh chaturthi/Dassara/Eid/Christmas/halloween? One does what one feels comfortable with.Not celebrating TG doesn't make you one a traitor to the American society. Similarly dissing Halloween or complaining about the flaws one finds in the american living, while staying in the US, is not morally wrong. When you stay in India, do u not criticize the traffic, the pollution? If not always, maybe in moments of frustration?
I have lived in India as well as in the US. When I lived in India, I celebrated some of the festivals. In the US too I went over to friends for christmas, and enjoyed the 4th of July fireworks. But I didn't do the TG or halloween or easter. If I did manage to find enthusiam for all the celebrations, I would be living an artificial life.One that I didn't live in India, my home country.If I take up the residency in US, does that take away my Indian ancestory?
If I did venture to be indian as well as American, I would be celebrating almost every other week!!! :)
Sorry, long comment, and maybe a little rambling.
Deepa
# posted by 
: 10:37 PM
: 10:37 PM
I dont agree with kodi's mom comments. Sure ! everyone wants to raise their child as a glabal citizen these days...world is small blah blah but this very small world will always call your child as "the indian boy" or the indian girl.....even if they were born and raised in the USA
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